Damien and Linda's Self-Promotion to First Class

So our flight from Seoul to Singapore was pretty empty. I am not sure why more people were not trying to leave Seoul to get to Singapore since it is one of my favorite places on Earth, but maybe all of the tasteful travelers had already left. In any case, we sat there and looked around and Linda Hunter, true to form starts talking about how we could go over to the middle of the plane and commandeer 10 seats to lie out upon and otherwise rule over like big shots.

After my usual indecision about things like this and sneaking into different movie theaters etc, I said why not let's go take over. After all, you only live once, and being slain by one of these pencil thin automatons pulled from the cover of a glamor magazine once they discovered we had violated the cardinal rule of staying in one's assigned seat seemed at least slightly less than likely.

Of course no one cared, and we probably looked more dangerous insisting upon huddling in our original seats on the side of the plan than we looked stretching out in the middle. Linda was so pleased with herself and kept talking about pulling this coup on other flights. I was there enjoying my wife's glow of conquest while trying to think of a way to get all of the grading done that I brought "to do on the plane." Yeah right. I was thinking about how cool it would be if I could as one of the fabulous animated mannequins strolling smartly up the aisle to access their computer chips for information on organizational management so that they could do me a real solid and grade all of the papers while I sipped another Hite and took a nap when Damian struck.

Yes, Damien is alive and well with the rumors of his defeat in "Omen 3: The Final Conflict" greatly exaggerated. He is back, he is a kid again, and he flies on airplanes. Damien has very powerful legs. He enjoys extending them with great force just as you relax or get your thoughts together. In between explosions of activity, he lets out his soul rending Hell Screech while his kicking powers regenerate. At first I thought he wasn't anything more than just another kid with parents who just couldn't solve the puzzle of airline discipline. I did not realize what forces I was dealing with until I noticed he had surprisingly quieted down. Slowly I turned my head back around the side of my aisle seat to have a look at what I expected to be a sleeping kid who had finally used up his juice.

Instead, there he was, standing up, arms hanging straight at his sides, eyes as black as the very heart of darkness staring straight at me some two feet away. As slowly as I had turned to discover my peril, I turned my eyes back ahead of me and hoped that as I had gazed into the malevolent abyss of those lifeless orbs, the abyss had not gazed into me.

Damien flies coach. Who'd have figured.

No wonder so many delicious horror movies from this part of the world feature children. I have often laughed at the notion that perhaps children were the scariest thing imaginable for some reason in Asia. Now I need wonder no longer. Damien has been here for who knows how long, tormenting weary travelers, staring them down and daring them to act, silently scowling at them when they don't. He kept at it for pretty much the entire flight, making it kind of hard for Linda to continue gloating about having it better than First Class. True, each of them was stuck with fewer seats than we were. But geez, at least The Beast Child is unable to cross the boundary beyond which only they (and glamorous automatons) may pass.